The Potato Who Made the Sky Fall

photo of thunderstorm

Potato was busy basking under the winter sun, things were pretty much calm and quiet. The grass was busy waving around and getting trampled by the furries and the humans, the vegetables and fruits were waiting to burst open to shower their seeds of love and reproduction. Last but not least the humans, well, they were up to no good. they were fighting for the little things.

It so happened that among the chaos someone farted, and fart they did. The skies trembled in fear, scaring everyone for a moment, but then everything went back to normal. After a while, the farting sounds came back, this time piquing Potato’s interest, and so he began to investigate.

First, he enquired on the ground level if someone had tummy troubles, but it was quite clear that no one on the ground had the power to disrupt in such a way that would lead to a loud bang, and so he turned his eyes to the sky, wondering if the ancient gods have decided to run some stupid prank on the earthlings.

Potato decided to meditate and bring out his spiritual self. As that is the only way to contact the ancient gods now. After a long penance, came a primordial being. Potato seemed to seek his wisdom and in his infinite zeal asked his primordial companion who he is.

The primordial organism replied in a very growly voice and introduced himself as Uranus. The moment potato heard this, the first thing he did was check his butt. Because he thought that he has made some extraordinary connection with his butt and his butt possessed such power to bring the sky down. He giggled for some time, annoying Uranus to the core.

Uranus roared, threatening potato of the nasty things that might follow. Potato asked Uranus what went wrong and why is he farting so loudly scaring the Earth folk. Upon careful consideration, he asked Uranus what happened. The reply he got was a bit strange.

It turns out, Poseidon decided to play a prank on Uranus and so he fed him a laxative laden drink and now he farts like there is no tomorrow, and only Poseidon carries the cure to this madness and he has gone to hiding.

Uranus was getting more and more anxious and his tummy growled more fiercely than ever. It was becoming evident that if not treated, it would be disastrous for Earth and no one wants that. Potato and Uranus started their enquiries on the land of Olympus. Zeus came up with something, that was certainly not helpful but made it more puzzling for the static duo to find Poseidon.

He redirected them to the land of the Norse, to Asgard and seek out Odin, Thor and Loki for more information. The duo wondered how can the one-eyed king, Zeus’s equivalent and a misfit find the Greek good of water, and for that, how to reach Asgard. Zeus called Hermes, the god of Speed to aid in the travel arrangements. Hermes crafted a catapult that could propel Uranus and Potato at speeds faster than light and reach Asgard “safely”.

And so, the great journey started, the duo placed themselves and held their hearts in their hands hoping all goes well. They reached Asgard but were not welcome. Heimdall greeted them but was very much pissed off because it was an unapproved entry to Asgard. Meanwhile, Zeus smirked in his evil grimace waiting to hear what happens next.

Heimdall greeted the static duo with a big smile. As if he knew what was happening, but still he asked them to know whether they are worthy of entering Asgard or not. Upon hearing the tale, Heimdall laughed, his laughter so loud that even Odin got up from his throne and came to the Bifrost.

Odin thought that the two extraordinary beings were some creations of Loki, and was almost about to send Thor to find and teach him a lesson. Odin explained, Poseidon did visit Asgard but he never stayed here, he conjured up the laxative with the help of Loki and now Loki has also gone missing. Thor is also trying to locate him. If the duo locates Poseidon, do ask him the misfit’s location as well.

Heimdall being Heimdall, kicked the duo back to the Greeks. Meanwhile, on Olympus, Zeus was having the party of his life, expecting something nasty to happen, because Poseidon had never left Olympus and it would be a fun distraction to avoid. But his plans were just plans and all his fun went to dust when he witnessed Potato and Uranus back in his realm. 

Pretty much in shock, Zeus tried to hide his shock behind a neutral face, but it was clear that looking at him something had disastrously gone wrong and he knew what was it. Potato also enquired, but what is a tiny potato against a Greek God, so Uranus came in and as soon as he was about to speak with his mouth, his tummy growled, shaking Mount Olympus along with the Earth itself. 

Meanwhile on Earth, the humans believed fully that the gods are crazy and are up to something nasty, so they also started preparing for their rebellion against the gods for disrupting their beauty sleep and other activities.

Zeus got worried, if the humans started revolting it would mean chaos at Olympus and would reduce their power, and if the story is true that Loki and Poseidon colluded. There is definitely something wrong.

He sought Hera, to assist in finding out the whereabouts of Poseidon. Hera sought Hephaestus. He managed to locate both Loki and Poseidon and also managed to find a cure for the ailing Uranus. Hephaestus warned Uranus about the side effect of having his cure, it would cause his colon to empty the moment it hits his stomach but he would be cured of the trouble.

Both miscreants were stuck in a temporal loop, thanks to the big catapult of Hermes. And now they could not free themselves from the loop. They were stuck in between the realms. Only a mortal could bring them back as a God would end up destroying the space-time continuum. Potato took up the responsibility to bring the two fools back to their respective realms and ease all tensions.

Now, to enter the loop, one has to go to the point of time where the loop had started. That meant Potato had to go back in time, Zeus guided him to the sisters of fate, they had the power to manipulate time and the fate of everyone. With the sister’s help, he quickly went back in time and found both Poseidon and Loki.

Firstly, he berated both of them for what they did to Uranus. They both were surprised as to what they did to their butts, Potato clarified not their butts but the butt of their joke adventure on the primordial being. And then gave a big kick to their butts and sent them back to their respective realms.

Back on Olympus, Uranus was waiting for Potato to be back, hopefully with some result of his time travelling adventure. Potato returned, with an embarrassed Poseidon. Uranus drank Hephaestus’s cure and it all rained down upon humans. Uranus ended up sending down a huge amount of water coming out from his butt. But he was relieved of his torment at the end.

Meanwhile, on Asgard, Loki was greeted with open arms by Thor, and it was clear what was going to happen, an electric session between the two brothers lost to time and memories.

The Olympians thanked Potato for easing the tensions. The humans were happy to get an endless source of water but little did they know about its source. And it was back to normal for Potato and he went back to his beauty sleep. Dreaming of fish and carrots along the way.