A Random Brain Take on the World

So many questions, so few answers. And brains go boom. As much as I rant around. No one would mind. Because none would care about it (until unless you’re forced to listen).

But on the flip side, the world has become more interesting, more mysterious. So much so that now I have to figure out whether my life itself is a mystery to me or not. In the mystery lies the conspiracies that our brains decide for ourselves, and in those conspiracies, lies more questions !!!!

I think when people of this mysterious world said that one must question everything, they must’ve been high on Apple juice or something. Because they don’t know how many questions do we face daily, it takes a toll on us, and we feel like we are in the middle of a war just waiting for it to end.

How to finish the bombardment, no one knows as it is something that everyone faces at different times and everyone has a different strategy, some decide to go on carpet bombing, some go on blasting an EMP, and some go on hiding.

But why do we even have to face the wall of questions when we can just chill and relax on a beach somewhere, enjoy the sunshine and margaritas. But no, we want to go on a battlefield with all the questions pointed at us and we just stand there with no reply at all.

And that makes me mad. Makes me feel like life is giving me lemons and I should make lemonade from them.

Well, as all the quests go, if there are no questions then is it even a quest? Or is it just some random story that we cook up to keep our minds working overtime?

Again I ask myself, why did I write this random post? Because I have a random brain and I wanted to rant.

Love is in the air…(or is it ?)

Today, let’s look at ourselves. Well, we all do dive deep into self-introspection and self-love. But most of the time it ends in a disaster. Today, we focus on one such aspect. Wherein we can feel like being on top of the world Or the biggest joker, or the most miserable person. Today we are going to explore love and I’m going to give my really bad interpretation of it.

We all fall in love with someone or something. That’s something that we always end up doing. It can be your favourite human or an animal, or it can be a daily activity too. Our brain is a very powerful computer. Once you set what makes you happy, the brain programs it all accordingly that you end up loving that person or thing.

While we all sing praises and curses in the name of love. There is one question that remains stuck in my mind. Is love a feeling that was developed over time like the evolution from apes to humans? Or is it a societal construct that we have developed to stay civilized in this uncivilized landscape?

Now, before I get all the guns pointed at me for saying something that blows up ( it’s like I said in the beginning, it can be a really bad interpretation, or it can be a very good one). So hear me out.

From what I have seen and observed and have been reading. Most of us find love to be that force, that makes us whole. We all crave for that human or something, that’s natural, that’s how we grow. Nothing wrong with that. But how we express, and how we deal with it. That’s a bit awkward and miserable and at times equivalent to death. It’s no longer like you give out a flower and that person or thing is ours. ( I will be focusing on more humans loving humans aspect from now on ).

So you see, in today’s time, love has turned out to be like a mutual business agreement. One party just throws in all emotional baggage at the other person. And the other person in return provides all the material possessions that he or she can afford. It’s no longer the days of sunshine and margaritas but more of how you end up in the great labyrinth of what we call society.

Today, being not in a relationship or being in love would mean that you go straight into the depths of hell. Where our lovely Satan prepares the best of the best eternal dates. It’s just funny how the world perceives people who are yet to experience or find love.

But boy oh boy, you think being without a partner is bad. When you do get a partner, it is an entirely different war altogether. If for people Satan waits in hell, then for the ones in a relationship, Satan comes to the earth realm to actually “help”. If you think the World Wars were one of the worst conflicts that happened. You have not yet entered the mythical realm of a relationship. I am pretty sure that those who have fallen in love, have at least once thought of nuking their partner out in oblivion.

Also, like all the great fools that we are, we have that crazy desire to sow the seeds of destruction ( ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) and then cry foul ourselves. There is beauty in chaos as well, not all that we plot to destroy end up destroying, sometimes it does the opposite and makes everything better. Well, that’s human behaviour for you.

So to conclude love is in the air? I doubt.

Random scribbles of a random fool….

journal, write, blank


These five words, practically make up our entire life! That’s how we can interpret things.
The way we can destroy our minds and then go into an existential crisis.

Well, that’s our brain the way your brain is trained is different from mine.

But, the inner workings are the same. The neurons are the same cells that constantly bang our heads with some shock therapy on a minuscule level.

Now, back to the main point.

How it is that those 5 words become the starting point on our quest for exploration. That confuses me the most. Even if I decide to not learn anything, yet I’m still learning. Sometimes I get more questions than answers, why does my brain has to bring everything to the table instead of keeping only the facts that I need to know. Sometimes it is more challenging to find the answer.

I know the brain is a supercomputer, but it is not streamlined (until unless we want to make it). The more information we feed it, the more results can be deduced. We have the power to create vast empires, visualise doomsday, yet we get stuck on whether we ate our breakfast, or did we finish our chores. It is so confusing to even think at times. That our brain practically tells us to shut down. But as stubborn as we are, we decide to put it into overdrive.

The result.

We go mad. As simple as that. Then it’s not us controlling our brain. It’s our brain controlling us. The more we try to resist the urge. The more it gets to us. The brain is a ticking time bomb. Ready to implode.

On that note, this is what I conclude from the bad explanation above. The world is a strange place. And we are stranger organisms.

Deal with the Devil in the soul search

Deal With the devil

It all began on one dusky morning. It was all normal. People sipping tea or coffee, some doing meditation and prayers. Then there was I, making offers to the devil. I was a kind of a consultant. People used to come to me for all sorts of problems, and I would provide them with alternatives to resolve them. Whether the individuals implemented the solutions or not is beyond this story.

So, let me start again.
It was a dusky morning, birds were yelling at their best (which we somehow find beautiful). There was I, staring blankly outside my window, noticing what everyone was doing. In my mind, I was making a list of things to do. They were in the following order: Eat, work, eat again, think about something non-existent, sleep. Every day, this routine was followed like clockwork and never in the past few years did the routine altered. Everything was timed to the minute.

When I think, I look at myself in the mirror, at first, everything looks nice. I find myself 10 times more attractive and then two little fledgelings sit on my shoulders. One is an angel-like figure and the other is exactly the opposite, a devilish red tiny devil with horns. A question pops up in my mind, and the tiny duo starts arguing. Where the angel sought the peaceful and harmless solution. The devil wants me to go berserk, do things which one sane enough should not do. 

Then slowly, as the duo keeps on fighting, I look at the mirror again. A grim picture starts to take form, it shows that instead of a happy cheerful person. There is a rather worn down and sad-looking person standing. Slowly the face becomes more and more dreary. The mind starts to ignore everything and wanders off into uncharted territory. Putting more strain on the body, draining out the soul. And then, just as the body starts to adapt, the brain goes into overdrive. I forget the normal me and the original question that I had. The duo keeps on fighting on my shoulders, everything starts to blur. Adrenaline starts to rush, the brain, trying to pacify the duo instead put me in panic mode.

Tension starts to rise, things stop looking the same. They look like they just want to put an end to my miserable life, non violently. Then the devil takes over and starts commanding my body to do things, that might lead to disaster. But in the name of greed, it will satisfy my desire to calm down. Hence, a deal is made with the devil. (That’s why the title)

Slowly and steadily, things start to break down, but I get calm and peaceful, not realising the consequences of my actions. The brain starts to instruct me to go to sleep, I lie down and close my eyes, but I cannot sleep as the brain has decided not to go on hibernation.

Making a deal with the devil, on the face, looks enticing, and most probably you won’t believe that there is some hidden intent. But just like those generic advertisements on the telly, terms and conditions do apply here.

The conditions are such that you will never know. In my case, my sweet dreams became sour nightmares, I couldn’t sleep properly, started seeing horrible visions. Because of that, my mind couldn’t rest, always thinking about one thing or the other, always into overdrive mode. At first, it felt strange, but then it all started feeling normal until my body decided to give up under the rule of the devil.

So now that I was under his rule, the brain and I had to work our way out, we had to start an uprising against the lovely demon, and for that, I had to find the long lost little angel me, that had always cautioned me against the ways of the devil and to find it, I had to travel a long distance

Some time has passed since then, I managed to find the light at the end of the tunnel, I found the little angel me, had a great discussion with it, drafted up a plan to reclaim my throne from the madness.

The journey back was harder, as the devil kept on placing obstacles on my path to battle, and I along with my brain had to take some major decisions on whether to give the little demon another chance or let it go. I had to battle my defences to reach him, but the battle was worth it as now I was standing right in front of him.

We stood there looking at each other eye to eye, in the background music playing like a huge standoff is about to end. The battle started, it was a tough battle. In reality tho, my body was getting drained out of energy as the mental battle continued, it all went fuzzy for a moment but then everything just went quiet. It was calm all around, it felt like I’m standing on an empty field. Just me and my bed by my side. Automatically I laid down on my bed and my eyes slowly closed, and instead of getting the sour nightmares, I got sweet dreams, and I was finally able to sleep.

I found peace inside. Well, that was the first time I had a battle on that scale. But since then there have been more. And each time it gets more difficult to overcome but it does happen.

Peace comes, the war goes. War comes, peace goes.

The world of silent quarantine.

The world is in peril. Silence all around. Only a few warriors stand outside to defend. The enemy is known yet we do not know how to defeat it. Casualties keep on increasing yet we keep hope alive. One day, it will be all over. No more death at the hands of this tyrant. No more sorrow. Only smiles and praises and celebrations around. The tyrant will get defeated soon.

Summer has arrived, the glowing sun gives us warmth with all its might. Yet we cannot go out and play with him. All we do is look at our screens, look at the decimation. We celebrate the sun by not playing with it. Yet we do not feel distressed. Bored and blank, yes. Scared too at times yet not losing our resolve.

The time is now, instead of going out and fighting like the ones defending on the frontline. We have to stay indoors and fight. We have to fight this tyrant by not fighting at all. Just by staying in our places. Keeping calm and maintaining peace.

Enough with the distressing blah blah. I’m here to tell you about the crazy world of technology and its associated boredom. Back from the days of letters and telegrams as the only means of chatting, to the modern times where at a push of a button we have a new character available. Everything is connected. Everyone is connected. The very bond that used to develop by looking at each other standing can now be done by sending a few messages.

Yet, I hear people saying that they are alone. No one to hear them out. No one listens to their problems and ideas and opinions. In the physical sense that might be true, but they are not alone.

We are connected so much by the technology around us. Be it social media, movies, some TV series. There are a lot of things that this very intricate web of technology can teach us. From the various methods of cooking food to describing the end of the world by some rogue aliens. There is an endless pit of knowledge out there. And along with that. Millions of listeners as well. Millions of people are out there to talk to. All it takes is just a single tap or a click from the pointy device on the very screen that you’re reading this post.

In the end, I would just say that keep calm and carry on. Whenever in doubt trust your guts. And probably you might end up saving the world.

For the greater good, for survival.

For survival

The days are getting longer and longer, Sun staying out as bright as ever, birds chirping, winds blowing, But there is not a single human soul outside. The once-bustling streets now lay empty devoid of their magnificent beauty, On one hand, it is good, the once dusty roads and gardens look fresher than ever, but again the lack of action makes it all depressing, Like a desolate town, no sign of life present except the wilderness.

But all of this is now for the greater good, for survival. For ensuring that we survive and not become a part of the desolation. Everything comes at a price, sometimes it’s material and sometimes it leads to a loss of lives. But as everything works, the cost has to be borne by us. Because it is due to our actions the consequences are such.

Time is wicked. Slow as syrup when we are young, tricking us into believing this is the way it will always be like a smooth river. We will have time to love, laugh, fuck up, recreate, explore and imagine. And also have time to redefine and reinvent ourselves. We waste our minutes, our days. We do not notice how it slips away. And then one day, suddenly, there isn’t enough time for anything.

The minutes go by much too quickly, the hours even faster. One year bleeds into another until they all melt together like the colours in a painting.

Not enough time to take back the regrets or find new love. Not enough time to think a simple pleasing thought or enjoy how the breeze bends the tips of the trees. And we mourn and we try to tell the young, “Don’t waste your time. It’s not enough. It will go by quickly. Don’t squander it”. But we don’t relate the news with urgency. We don’t try to make them see the emergency of the slippage of time. And we watch with envy as they dance, sing, and love.

But with what little we have, in the end, we should make the most of it. And Cherish every little moment. For we never know when we are going to turn into dust and become a part of the same desolation.

The big heartbreak and the celebration that follows

Shining lights, cheerful music, people dancing, some falling in love, some finding new acquaintances. That’s how an ideal celebration should be (although everyone has their way of celebrating, I perceive it the way I wrote). There is something deep inside humanity that loves to celebrate the best things in life.

Celebration allows us to relax and unwind in the midst of busy and crazy lives. We use celebrations as an excuse to gather with the friends and family that mean the most to us. Also, we enjoy celebrations because they allow us to remember the things in life that truly matter. As we celebrate, we allow the stresses of life to fall behind and we spend our time doing things we love with the people we love. There is something about a great celebration that reminds us of the purpose of our life and of the power of our closest relationships.

But now let’s jump over to the other side, the moment celebrations end, then what? We ourselves create a void that we hope to fill again. And then again go back to the grimy old ways of living our lives. Even if we remember why we celebrated it, that emptiness always sinks us down further and further. Then we start feeling that we should live the celebrating life always. Looking for the larger things always and forgetting the little things that actually made up to the big occasion.

We create organised chaos for ourselves and then we are not able to comprehend the results. Instead, we begin longing for more, we end up being the victims of breaking our own hearts, and the cycle repeats. Then we forget the little things that actually end up being more enjoyable, but we always hunt for the large. In the end, it’s little things that give us away. And it’s those little things that we miss the most when celebrating. That’s when we break our hearts when the celebration repeat.

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